Plain, Otherwise Known As Dry

Here is my stance against condiments:
They are unnecessary - if your food needs comdiments to make it taste better, maybe you shouldn't be eating it.
They are messy - i don't understand how anyone can eat a turkey (or any other kind of) sandwich with mayonaisse or dressing slathered on and deal with all the innards slipping, sliding, and falling out. It's just ridiculous.
But I have begun to change. I agree that lettuce and salad tastes so bland it's disgusting, but it violates my "you shouldn't be eating it" rule because I should indeed be eating more salad. So I am not opposed to a little italian or vinaigrette dressing. In fact, I have begun to acquire a taste for it.
And just a little note about cream cheese. I don't think this counts as a dressing - it's a spread like butter or jelly. I used to abhor the very thought of cream cheese, but now I crave it like a person with cravings craves something. And that's a lot.