Only if Stan Brings the Underage Children

Just a few notes from the old curiosity shoppe:

The local used car lot has one of those giant blow up gorillas with a banner proclaiming, "Giant Used Car Sale!"

Last night I received free snacks and a $2.00 discount rental of 3 new videos at the video store. The clerk had to strong arm me into the deal because I didn't get it at first.

I have recently discovered the joy of raiding the First Aid cabinet at work for bandaids and ointment.

I almost fell over in the bathroom stall just now.

The Bright Side of Life for $200, Alex

While driving in the car just now, I had a flash of worry that I have let a year of my life slip away from me. Sometimes I wonder, "how much more could I have accomplished if I hadn't let the funk get the better of me? Where would I be right now (job, living situation, etc.) if I had taken charge of my life?" But then I remind myself of the little joys that have made up the past year: the long drives, the road trips, the conversations, the pillow talk, the birthday parties, the barbeques, the candelit dinners, the baseball games, the scrabble games, the movies, the extra special bonus Tuesday evening complete with bowtie pasta with garlic and sausage sauce plus peas followed by a rousing episode of Jeopardy! and then a stressful episode of 24...
I don't know why it is so hard for me to focus on the positive. I just need to stop. I cannot waste another moment wondering what if. I have to believe that if it (life) was supposed to be different, it would be.

And now for something completely different
After 6 months, I finally turned in my expense report for a business trip I took in October! And I was just handed my reimbursement check - a whopping $47.44. Woo hoo! Party time!

Hump Day

Everybody must get humped...

I can't believe it's Wednesday already! I am starting to sound like a broken record with all this time is slipping away stuff. But it really is! What's weird is that it actually feels more like a Monday. But, in fact, the week is more than half over, and there's a 3-day weekend on the horizon! Woo hoo! I am looking forward to yet another lazy weekend of sleeping, eating, sleeping, watching TV, sleeping, and... gambling? We'll see.

"before the merriment of commencement commences"

I woke up this morning with the Kenny Rogers song "Lucille" running through my head ("you picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille"). I have always had a special place in my heart for Kenny. And not just because he's "The Gambler." There's just something about that gravely voiced, gray haired crooner that gets me going.

Ah, swiftly fly the years. My sister graduated from college on Saturday. Hard to believe that it was 5 years ago that I graduated from the same college. She's glad to be finished with school but also nervous about entering the "real world." But she'll knock 'em dead, this I know.
Sidebar: It's too bad, though, that the commencement speakers ruined the ceremony. The woman who spoke only of herself and did not offer the graduates any words of inspiration was bad enough. But the religious zealot who provided a little too much information about his personal life and claimed he wasn't being preachy while telling us that only through the love of Jesus will we do great things was just too much. Um hello? Why don't you try considering your audience before you speak? I was offended on behalf of all the atheists out there.

Faerie Tale Theatre
Flashback Alert: Oh man, remember this Showtime series that was hosted by Shelley Duvall? When I was a kid, we loved to rent these from the video store. Last night Andrew and I watched "The Three Little Pigs" starring Billy Crystal and Jeff Goldblum. Classic!

We Have a Piper Down!

I just hustled ass to put together a powerpoint presentation for my boss, so I figure I am entitled to a good half hour or so of blogging.

I am in the middle of a mild but prolonged freakout right now. Yes, it has to do with bugs. No, I'm not proud of it. The long and short of it - I need to get out! I need a vacation from myself.

A few things

Can I just say, there really is nothing better than spending a Sunday morning in bed.

I saw 13 Going on 30 on Saturday.... loved it! Ok, yes, it's a chick flick, but it was better than you might expect, and Jennifer Garner was so darn good as a confused and excited 13-year-old girl.

And later that night I encounterd a blast from the past. Isn't it weird how someone that you once thought was the hottest shit can end up being anything but? It's a little creepy, actually.

Word of the Day
Madcap
\Mad"cap`\, a. 1. Inclined to wild sports; delighting in rash, absurd, or dangerous amusements.
2. Wild; reckless.

Quote of the Day
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.”
--Charlie Brown in Charles Schulz’s "Peanuts"

C'mon Get Happy

I was coming down the stairs just now and a delivery man was leaving out the front door and he was singing to himself, in quite a get down on it way, and it made me smile.

Pulled a few more quotes from Sun Magazines "Sunbeams" for my quotes collection, and this one scared me:

Death twitches my ear. “Live,” he says. “I am coming.”
--Virgil

I was crying again last night and I yelled at myself for being so stupid. But I also started thinking about projects to put my effort into. Well I forgot to bring my list with me, but let's see if I can remember all the things I was thinking about in the shower last night. Ah, the shower - my most favorite place to be.

Project Lovely
So maybe I can't suck the marrow, but I am determined to find/enjoy at least one lovely thing each day - whether it be aesthetic loveliness like a sunset or a cute baby or a lovely moment like playing footsy with boyfriend while eating pizza (a moment I am expecting to enjoy later this evening).
Woah - I just flashed on the movie American Beauty, and Wes Bentley's voice - "there is so much beauty." Cheesy, I know.

Project Family
If nothing else, I can at least work on my family story. Still a little sketchy on my father's side, but on my mother's side - four brothers from an Irish farm.....

Project No Worries
Good one you say? No, seriously. I am thinking of John Cusack in Say Anything reprimanding his sister and asking "how hard is it to decide to be in good mood and then be in a good mood?"

So obviously, I was feeling funky last night. I don't know how these things get started, but suddenly it's upon me and I can do nothing but succumb. And I had another of those "why don't I just keep driving" moments. You know what I mean? One of those "What's the worst that could happen? I'll just keep driving, maybe up to Victoria or something. Sure, people would be a little pissed when I don't show up for work, but they'd get over it. I'd miss Andrew of course, but maybe I could convince him to join me....." moments. And then I turn into my parking lot and pull into my space, turn of the car, and go inside the house.

Provided by the Management for Your Protection

Ok, so let me get this straight. We do not have the money to purchase office supplies, but we do have the money for a fancy shmancy new espresso machine that will provide all-you-can-drink coffee to the employees at no charge? Something is askew, I think.

Stuff

1. My favorite chapstick flavor is strawberry.
2. I don't tan. Ever.
3. I want to own a children's bookstore.
4. Favorite children's book - Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.
5. I have a tendency to slip into a midwestern accent while reading the Richard Scarry story "Speedboat Spike." It drives the kids crazy.
6. I love movies - some might say I live my life inside movies.
7. I have an irrational and obsessive fear of bugs, germs, and broken glass, so much so that it can disrupt my daily living.
8. I can't whistle.
9. The redwood tree that I brought home from kindergarten in a dixie cup is still growing in my parents' backyard. UPDATE: The tree is coming down! :-( It had nice run of 25 years though.
10. I have stood on the cliff of Inis Mor of the Aran Islands.
11. I want to go to the Isle of Man.
12. I collect quotes.
13. One of my favorite quotes is
Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
(Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince, 1943)
14. Something I want to do but think I'd be too afraid: take a hot air balloon ride.
15. Something I thought I'd be too afraid to do but did anyway: rode on the back of a motorcycle.

Don't let the psychosis spoil the fun

....that's what I always say.

OK, I am experimenting with the new templates Blogger introduced. I know these green dots don't have anything to do with "blue suburban skies," but I like them. They're kitschy.

I definitely do have a tendency to let the psychosis spoil the fun, and I am trying to stop doing that. It really is not a good thing.

Holy Bagpipes!

I can't make any promises, even to myself, and I don't want to convince myself that I won't be happy if these things don't happen, but here is a partial list of "things I want to do":

1. Submit artwork of some kind to some place
2. Spend a few months in England and Ireland
2a.While there, view and research Sheela-na-gigs
3. Write (and finish) several stories

There have been so many fantasies, so many dreams. Moving to England to be an au pair!! Oh man, that was a good one!
I am sitting in this cubicle, feeling sickly, and depressed, and doing anything but actual work. Should I feel guilty about "stealing from my employer"? Sure. Do I? Well, maybe that's why I feel sickly. It's crazy how quickly time is moving. I feel like I am never going to catch up.

Feeling a little better - I just ordered 3 CDs from Amazon - Loretta Lynn, Gillian Welch, and Patti Smith.